I Hate Everything About You
by The'Edge'Of'Insanity
Summary: Rae has always hated Draco Malfoy and he's hated her back. But when Malfoy starts flirting will things change?
1. Chapter 1

I remember meeting Draco Malfoy for the first time. He struck me as a very self righteous person; he was rich, his daddy was high up at the ministry, and he obviously thought himself probably thought himself very good looking (which, I won't lie, he was). But I bet you're all waiting for me to say "And that totally turned me on and I fell for him right away." Well, you're wrong. In fact, I hated him.

When I was a first year and being sorted, I was put into Slytherin. My entire family has been in Slytherin since the founding of Hogwarts. When I saw Malfoy get sorted, it was impossible not to notice that the sorting hat had hardly touched his slicked back blond hair when it yelled "Slytherin." And, with my uncanny luck, he came and sat right down next to me. That was when I first realized that this boy was the most horrible person I had ever met. He was rude, ignorant, a complete git, and, maybe, even a little naive.

The single friend I had made on the train ride was also sorted into Slytherin. She sat down next to me and, unlike me, fell for Draco Malfoy right away. Pansy Parkinson hangs on every word Malfoy says, and sometimes even him. Malfoy will let her stroke his hair and lay in her lap, but overall, ignores her.

Throughout our school years, there were many times I wished Malfoy would just fall over dead. Or at least, be tortured. But no, Malfoy was favored by the head of our house, Professor Snape, and was sly enough to slip by all the other teachers. I remember, third year, he was 'attacked' by a hippogriff. I was hoping he'd lose an arm, but Madam Pomfrey's abilities let him keep his arm and act like a war hero. Even when Hermione Granger punched him, I hoped she at least broke his nose so his perfect little face would be ruined. But no, he got away without a hair out of place. I would have been happy if he learned something from it, but he was just his usual prat like self.

Through our first four years of Hogwarts, Draco Malfoy and I seemed content with just ignoring each other. Even though Pansy insisted on being around him, he and I just acted like the other was not there. Apparently, Malfoy hated me as much as I hated him. Every once in a long while, he'd say something rude, and I'd counter back.

But, at the start of our 5th year, things changed. Draco Malfoy went out of his way to torture me. But…I'm getting ahead of myself. You probably want this story in detail and if not, well too bad, you're getting details anyway. Oh yea, before we start, my name is Rebecca. Rae to my friends.


	2. Chapter 2

It's a quarter to eleven and I'm trying to escape my over-protective mother so I can get onto platform 9 & ¾ , which is proving difficult.

"Mum," I whine at her. "_Please_ just let me get on the train."

"Honey," she says, while trying to kiss my cheek. "I'm not going to see you till Christmas, I'll miss you."

"You have dad," I say to her, trying to escape.

She refuses to let go.

"Your father is away at work so much," she says as if that's my fault. Dad works at the ministry and works over time nearly every night. Mum stays at home and letting me leave every year is hard on her- not to mention me since she's incredibly over protective.

"Mum, really, I have to go."

She sighs and releases my from her airtight hug. I take the barrier at a run before she can find a reason to call me back. I close my eyes and then reopen them to see the shining _Hogwarts Express_ gleaming red and black at me through smoke. My black Long-Eared Owl, Ebony, screeches at me; he never seems to get used to the barrier.

I heard my name shrieked across the crowd and jump up to see over the heads of other students, I've always been a bit on the short side. I see Pansy Parkinson waving furiously at me and making her way through the mass.

"Rae," Pansy says breathlessly when she reaches me, "We've already got a compartment; I've been waiting for you."

"Thanks, Pansy," I say but I'm already dreading the long train ride. Of course Pansy would want a compartment with Malfoy. She helped me load my large trunk and Ebony onto the train. She hopes on board and we're halfway down the train when it starts moving slowly out of the station. Some doors were open showing students waving furiously at their parents and several first years crying.

Pansy slides one of the doors open towards the back of the train and flops down next to Malfoy and one of his goons, Crabbe. Maybe it was Goyle, I can never tell the difference. I sit down between Blaise and his other thug. Blaise winks broadly at me; I wrinkle my nose and inconspicuously edge as far away from him as possible. Blaise has a thing for me and is very, _very_, open about it.

He leans over the few inches I had managed to put between us and hooks his arm over my shoulders. I can smell his after shave, which is burning my nose. Then, suddenly, he recoiled as if I had burned him. I glance up at him to see him staring across the compartment at Malfoy, who's glaring at him. Blaise pulls back and scoots back towards the window and mopes silently.

Malfoy takes the lull in conversation to launch into a story about his dear father and what a wonderful man he is. I take this time to make a mental list of anything I might have forgotten at home: Books, quills, ink, owl, clothes, robes. Everything seems in order.

Does this guy ever stop bragging about his father? "My father this," "My father that." It's so annoying.

"Father has been saying for a long time what an old fool Dumbledore is, especially now that Potter seems to think he saw You-Know-Who last June and Dumbledore believes him. Everyone at the ministry thinks father is right about him," Malfoy drawls on. He's talking about his favorite subjects and will be at it for awhile. They're his least favorite but at the same time they're his favorites: Father, Potter, and Dumbledore.

I roll my eyes at the ceiling. He notices my annoyance and stops in his "Daddy ministry" story to sneer at me.

"What's your problem Garrick?" he asks, pulling his eye brows together. He used my last name, Garrick, like he always did when referring to me.

I'm a little taken back by his comment; he's seen me roll my eyes at him before and always ignores me. "No, I'm not interested, Malfoy," I say calmly, I'm not going to give him the same attitude he's giving me.

"Well, if you're not interested in my parents, let's talk about yours," he says it with a smirk, like he knows something I don't.

"What are you talking about?" I ask, starting to get angry

"I saw your mother before we got on the train," He does a bad impression of my mum's voice. "'Oh Rae! Don't leave me, you're father is gone _so_ much.' Really Garrick, you'd think your mum could just keep a hold of herself, people were staring. Pathetic."

Crabbe and Goyle grunt, I suppose their version of laughter, and Blaise roars along with Malfoy, who obviously found his insult hilarious. Pansy laughs weakly, not sure if she should laugh along with Malfoy to stay on his good side, or stand up for me.

I pull out my wand, Elm 11 ½ inches with unicorn hair, and point it at him, standing up on impulse. "Leave my mum alone!"

"Ooh," Malfoy says with mock terror. "What are you going to do about it?"

"Alright Malfoy," I say stowing my wand back in my robes and sitting back down, "if that's how you want to play it. I just want to know, how much is your father paying your mother to stay married to him? Because obviously, he's paying everybody at ministry, why not your mum as well?"

Malfoy's mouth opens and closes several times before he manages to get something out, "Don't insult my parents."

I smile sweetly at him. "If you're going to insult mine, expect it back!"

While Malfoy and I were arguing, Blaise's arm has started to make its way around the back of my seat, again. Crabbe and Goyle had dumbstruck looks on their faces and Pansy's eyes were wide at my come-back towards Malfoy. Malfor glared angrily at me before finally turning back to Pansy who distracted him by preening him.

The train slows and finally stops. I'm the first one up and out of the compartment before anyone else had even moved. I hear Blaise muttering behind me ask "What's her problem?"

I get off the train and hear Pansy screaming my name behind me over the other noises. I stop and let her catch up with me.

"Rae, that really wasn't nice of you," she says when she gets close enough for me to hear her. "I mean really, Draco was just trying to be funny."

"Really? Well, I have a hard time distinguishing jackass from humor," I say without looking at her and stocking ahead.

"Rae," she whines, "I know you don't like Draco, but be nice to him."

"Pansy, I'm nice enough not to jinx him when I'm around him. Don't ask me to not stand up for myself when he insults me and/or my family."

She sighs knowing she can't change my mind. I shove a 2nd year out of the way to grab a carriage. Pansy follows after me and sits down across from me. Draco, Crabbe, and Goyle appeared at the door a minute later and settled down next to us. Malfoy gives me a look that I can't distinguish. The carriage lurched forward and took us back to Hogwarts.


	3. Chapter 3

I hold up my schedule while taking a bite of toast. It's our first day back and Pansy and I are some of the first at breakfast. Pansy compares our schedules and grins.

"We have all our classes together," she says happily. Her face drops a little. "I hope Draco has all his classes with us."

"I hope not," I say through my toast. I don't always have the best of manners. "There's only so much of him I can take."

Pansy smiles slyly. "Maybe Blaise will have some classes with us, too."

"Pansy," I say swallowing my mouthful of food, "how many times do I have to say this? I'm not interested in Zabini."

She shrugs and helps herself to scrabbled eggs. She takes the salt and pepper and holds them upside down over her eggs. "It's not like I want to force you into something, it's just that I think it's time you got out in the dating field."

"Hark who's talking," I say taking a second piece of toast and spreading raspberry jelly across it.

"Rae, it's only a matter of time before Draco and I make it official that we're going out," she says giggling and flipping her hair. "I mean, really, obviously Draco and I are meant for each other."

"Can we please find something to talk about that doesn't have to do with Malfoy?" I ask. "I'm too hungry to talk about something that disgusting."

She sighs but then smiled, "Well he's coming over this way, so that makes up for it."

I turn my head to see Malfoy strutting towards us with Crabbe and Goyle lumbering behind him. Draco sits down next and smirks at me.

I stand up, leaving my piece of toast uneaten. "Sorry, Pansy, but I'm not really hungry."

"But you were just a second ago," she says confused.

I shrugged and got out of the Great Hall. I head back down to the common room to grab my books for the day.

After my long trek to the dungeons, I stand outside the entrance to the common room and mutter "Pureblood." The door swings open to let me get into the common room. I walk over to the girls' dormitory and grab my books.

Charms first. Charms has always been my strong point. Flitwick loves me. Potions, not so much. Snape loves me because I'm Slytherin but I epically fail at his class.

I head out of the common room and back down the Great Hall to find Pansy. She's standing with Malfoy, giggling about something he said. She sees me coming and waves furiously.

"Are you ready to go?" she asks, still giggling from whatever Malfoy had to say.

All three of us head up to charms. Half-way up the first flight of stairs, Malfoy turns to me. "What's up with your hair?"

"What do you mean?" I said angrily, feeling the top of my head.

"If you're going to be around me, look better, Garrick," he says.

I glare at him. "Being around you isn't really my chose, Malfoy!"

Pansy bites her lip, again not sure who to side with. Malfoy smirks at me, knowing that he has once again managed to upset me.  
We walk into Charms, where Flitwick tells us a new spell and to practice it for the rest of class. Pansy and I have it down by our 7th time; Malfoy continues to struggle. I watch him for awhile and realize he's not even trying.

He sighs loudly and looks at Flitwick, who is walking by to look at our progress. "Professor," he says. Flitwick waddles over. "I really can't do this." Faker.

"Well, it seems Miss. Garrick has it," he turns to me. "Maybe you could help him."

I nod and grit my teeth, not wanting to start something with a teacher. Flitwick steps over to help another student. Malfoy turns to me and smirks. "Well, Garrick, you heard him. Teach away."

I grip my wand wondering which spell would be best to break his nose. He leans back in his chair and waves at me to get a move on.

"Malfoy…it's simple. Wave your wand like this," I wave mine in a demonstration, "and say the words."

He tries lazily without any success. "I don't think I'm getting the wave movement right," he says looking crest fallen.

I show him again and again he doesn't do it. Getting fed up, I grab his hand and wave it the right way.

"Like this," I say waving his hand around. "Got it?"

He looks up at me and just smirks. He glances down at my hand and raises an eyebrow. I look at my hand gripped around his wrist and drop his hand. "I think you've got it," I say.

He waves his wand around and says a few fancy things and voila, he does it. Flitwick claps his hands and smiles broadly at him.

"Well done, Mr. Malfoy," he says.

"Thank you Professor. Maybe Garrick should help me more often, she obviously knows what she's doing," he says smirking at me.

"Well that's an excellent idea," Flitwick says, but upon catching the look at my face, which probably looked like I had drunk sour milk, he hastily added. "Well, only if you can't do it yourself and you usually have no problems in my class Draco."

"Of course, Professor," he says, still smiling evilly at me.

The bell rings and I grab my bag and make a run for the door. Malfoy catches up to me, and even though I'm half jogging he has no problem keeping stride with me.

"What's you're hurry, Garrick?" He says humor heavy in his voice. "We have our next class together; why not slow down a little?"

"What's your problem, Malfoy?" I ask him holding back my anger. I have no idea where it's coming from. I hate Draco Malfoy but why am I so upset?

"What do you mean?" He asks, pretending to have no idea what I'm talking about.

"You know what I mean," I snarl. "Two years ago you wouldn't say a word to me, now you're deciding to annoy me. What are you playing at?"

"I just decided it was a good chance to get to know each other," he says smirking again. I hate his smirk. Hate it.

"Well, Malfoy," I spit his name at him, "I'd rather not get to know you better."

He's stopped in front of Professor McGonagall's door, holding it open with one hand. He continues to smirk; I stare at him, my jaw clenched so hard it hurts.

"Well," he says, "then I guess it's a good thing I don't care what you think about the situation." He smirks one last time and waves his hand for me to go in first. I walk by him and stomp on his foot. He continues to smile like I hadn't done anything. I sit down as far away from him as possible and think up as many excuses as possible not to talk to him.


	4. Chapter 4

"Really, Pansy," I say. We were walking to charms nearly a month later. "I'm not sure how much more of this I can take". Malfoy was seriously getting on my nerves; he's been continuously making up excuses to get me to help him on homework and talk to him and anything else he can manage. Yesterday, he saw me going back to class on my way back from the Girl's Bathroom and followed me around till I got back into class. If I didn't know better, I'd say he was flirting. Or creeping.

"Maybe he just really does want to be friends," Pansy says really not too sure of her answer.

"He's not trying to be friends, Pansy, he's stalking me. There's a fine line between those two, but he's defiantly across it."

Pansy ties to shrug it off but looks a little upset. I sigh, knowing what she's thinking. I've thought about it, too. That maybe, just maybe, his "let's-be-friends" idea, is his way of saying "let's-be-more-than-friends."

"Pansy," I say, feeling sorry that I even brought it up, "You know that he's just doing this to annoy me, right? And I hate his guts; I hate him more than I've ever hated anyone. It's all I can do not to curse him every time I see him. You know that it's nothing more than _friendly_ hatred, right?"

She smiles a little. "And speaking of Draco…," she nods towards the blond haired devil himself strutting our way, with his little smirk firmly planted on his face. For a second, I thought that he was looking pretty good, and then I realized what I was thinking. He gives me a look like he can read my mind.

I make a wild swerve in mid-step to my right, "Bathroom," I say and bolt through the door. I lean against it and sigh. Lately, I've found out that the only place I can avoid him is the girl's bathroom. Even in the classes we don't have together, he seems to be standing outside the door when I walk out of class. After that, it's hard to get him away from me. He follows me like a rabid lost puppy.

"Take your time, Garrick, we've plenty of time. Pansy and _I_ will wait right her for you," I hear Malfoy's voice call through the door. He puts a large amount of strain on the word I, meaning that even if Pansy gets sick of waiting, he'll still be right there when I walk out. I feel my eye twitching. He is so god damn pushy. Does he have a death wish?

I take a deep breath and walk out. He's leaning against the door frame; Pansy's standing back a bit with a worried face.

"Well?" he asks. "Are you going to stand there or can we leave?"

I make a face torn between a smile and a glare and wave him to walk. He bows a little and continues ahead of Pansy and me. I glare at the back of his head hoping I can put a hole in it. Pansy nudges me. "At least try to be nice," she pleads.

"No," I whisper furiously back at her. "The day I'm nice to Draco Malfoy is the day dragons are proclaimed suitable for house pets."

"I can hear every word your saying," Malfoy says without turning around. "If you're trying to be inconspicuous, try a little harder."

I open my mouth to tell him to shove it but close my eyes and breathe through my nose, trying to calm down. I probably sound like an enraged bull. I hear Malfoy snicker in front of me. I'm really tempted to take my wand and shove it in his ass and light off sparks. Who says the sun don't shine there?

Malfoy holds open the door to Charms for both Pansy and me. I half expected him to close it in Pansy's face. I sit down at my desk and place Pansy between me and Malfoy. Malfoy looks over Pansy's head and smirks at me; I place a book between upright between me and Pansy so I don't have to look at his stupid face.

We've been in school close to a month now and like I told Pansy, Malfoy's main objective has been following me around as much as possible. It's ridiculous. He still insults me and my family but lately he's just been _smirking_ at me. I can handle the insults but if he looks at me with that idiotic smile plastered on his face one more time, I'm seriously going to jinx him.

Malfoy heaves a sigh loud enough to get Flitwick's attention. "Yes, my boy?" he pipes when he gets over to Malfoy's desk.

"Professor," Malfoy says with a look of pure disappointment, "I really can't get the hang of this spell. Maybe Garrick could help me?"

"Well…" Professor Flitwick says slowly. I clench my teeth together and close my eyes. "Perhaps she could…You usually don't have any problems, Draco. Maybe you should be studying more, O.W.L.s are this year."

"Of course, Professor," Malfoy says with the sly voice that could win over a fox. "I'll start studying hard, but this spell…."

"Miss. Garrick," Flitwick beckons me over to help Malfoy.

I get out of my chair and stand in front of Malfoy until Flitwick goes to help someone else. I bend down over him, about three inches from his face, and my hands turn white from gripping the armrests of his chair so hard. "We both know that you have absolutely no problems with any of Flitwick's homework."

"You can't prove that," He says.

"Why do you keep torturing me?" I ask, my knuckles straining under the pressure I'm putting on them not to hit him.

"Well like I've said before, friends help friends." He raises an eyebrow at me and darts his eyes down. It's then I realize he has a perfect view down my shirt.

"We're not friends, Malfoy," I stand up and turn my back on him to sit back in my own chair. Dignity gone.

"That's Draco, to you Garrick," he calls out from behind me.

Never in my whole life have I ever, _ever_, called Malfoy Draco. He is Malfoy. Mal-foy. That's it. He knows perfectly well that I refuse to call him by his first name. This is getting out of hand.


	5. Chapter 5

Snape leans over my cauldron to look at my potion which was supposed to be a fine lavender color with a subtle floral scent. My potion, instead, is a green glob that jiggles every time you touch the cauldron and smells like rotten cabbage.

"I won't take any points off today, Garrick but work on getting that mess cleaned out. Oh, and Draco," he turns to look at Malfoy, "You seem to do fairly well in my class. Until Miss Garrick's grade improves, you will be tutoring her." He turns away to inspect someone else's potion, his dark cape billowing behind.

I feel my stomach drop and my throat close up. Malfoy tutoring me? No way. My worst nightmare has been recognized. God must hate me. Or Snape. Or both.

Snape makes his way over the Potter and Weasley. Their potions both look three times better than mine, but Snape takes off five points each. I silently laugh at them. I honestly hate Potter and Weasley, just as much as Malfoy does but I will never admit it. Saying he and I have something in common might make everyone explode.

I work on cleaning out the green goop that has cemented itself to the inside edges of my cauldron. Nine out of ten of my potions end up this way: stuck to the inside of my cauldron and burning holes in everything it touches.

I feel Malfoy standing over me as I work; I do my best to ignore him. After several minutes, I can't stand it anymore. "What?" I ask looking up.

"Nothing," he says. "I'm just thinking about what way to go with tutoring you. I mean, different people learn different ways." What lies. He's more likely thinking about how the kill me in the slowest was possible.

"I don't need your help," I say scrubbing harder at the green gunk. It's turned into like a kind of atomic bomb surviving paint. A piece flies out and lands on the desk next to Malfoy's hand. He scoops it up on his finger and raises and eyebrow at me. "I think you do," he says inspecting the glob.

I straighten up and flick the lump of slime off his finger and into his face. "No, really, I don't," I say attempting a pleasant smile.

"Well, I guess it doesn't matter what you think, Snape thinks you need my help and if your grade doesn't improve it'll be detention for the both of us. A week, I'd say. Detention for a week. Just you and me and whatever Snape makes us do. Sounds fun doesn't it?" He gives me a lopsided smirk, which makes my heart thud a little bit harder. I dismiss it has heart burn.

As gross as being tutored by Malfoy sounds, detention with him for a week sounds worse. I can just imagine what kind of things Snape would have us do for detention. All of them involve one of us being sent to the hospital wing and because Snape adores Malfoy, it'll probably be me.

I glare at him. "Point taken," I growl.

"Good. Let's see, common room after dinner," he says while picking up his bag to go to his next class.

"Sounds good," I say angrily.

"It's a date, then," he says. I nearly gag. I hoped he was only joking. If he was seriously considering this a date. Oh gross...

He stops and turns. "By the way, bent over like that, your ass looks really good."

I immediately stand up. Did he honestly just hit on me? What the hell is going on?


	6. Chapter 6

I step into the common room after supper, begging God that Malfoy isn't already there, but of course he's sitting waiting for me. He's lounging like a muggle model on the couch, except not naked. I sit down next to him and pull out my potions and roll the parchment out in front of us. Our assignment is a two foot roll on the moonstone and its properties. I know nothing about the moon stone and it's even my birthstone. I'm so pathetic.

He silently reads over what I have, which is about three sentences.

"It's not too bad," he says. "Your introduction is pretty good." I was surprised that he wasn't being a jerk. He rolls out his own, showing slightly messy, but readable cursive hand writing. "I started mine by mentioning where the origin was: Sir Lanka and then the difference between the muggle's idea of what they're used for and the real way."

I nod dumbly. "Which would be…?"

"Muggles think they're for fertility and holy. We use them in dream potions, which some muggles did," he answers.

I scribble down my answer and then look up expectantly. He smirks a little. "Don't you have your potions book with? It spells all this out for you."

"No…," I mutter. He laughs a little; his laugh is usually so harsh, but this time it was a legit laugh. He takes his own out of his bag and flips through the pages. He points and I lean in to look at the fine print.

"Well, Malfoy," I say after close to two hours of working, "You're not that bad of a tutor."

"Can I get that in writing?" he asks, smirking. Despite myself, I smile back.

"No, that was off records," I say.

"Damn."

"Sorry, but I don't need anyone finding out that I actually learned something from you."

He shrugs and rolls up our papers. He hands me mine and I take it. He stares at me, he wasn't just looking at me, he was staring at me.

"What?" I ask; it was a little creepy.

"Nothing," he says, but he continues to stare at me. I bend over and slide my parchment into my bag. I sit back up and he's still staring at me. "What?" I ask again.

He only shakes his head. He leans towards me and I lean away from him on impulse. He keeps coming towards me until he's practically over-top of me. His cologne is enough to make my head swim, but in a surprisingly good way.

"What are you doing?" I ask seriously confused.

He stops and stares at me funny. "I was going to kiss you," he says slowly.

"Uh…no," I say somewhat rudely. Really? What?

"What do you mean no?" He asks annoyed.

"No, I don't want you to kiss me," I say shoving him off of me.

"Are you serious?" he asks almost laughing. "I'm Draco Malfoy, everyone wants me."

"I don't," I say. Why is he such a stupid prat? I've never wanted to kiss him. I've never even wanted to be friends with him!

He stands up and stretches, clearly saying that this conversation isn't even important to him. "Don't worry, you will," he says before going to the boys' dormitory.

I sit there stunned for a second. Draco Malfoy just tried to kiss me and then told me that I would eventually want him. This was beyond a doubt the weirdest mix of creepy and funny I'd ever heard. I almost laughed and then I remembered Pansy. She'd feel horrible when she found out. She'd probably cry and disown me. Blaise will mope for a month and I would be tortured with that fact that Malfoy had a crush on me. No wonder he'd been following me around so much. All that help with homework and insulting me was just to be around me more. I felt a little flattered but then I remembered it was Malfoy and flattery turned to disgust. Then I did laugh. It had suddenly hit me that Draco Malfoy had fallen in love with one of the few girls in Hogwarts that did not swoon everything he walked by. This guy really_ was_ mental.


	7. Chapter 7

Oh, Rae, how could you?" Pansy cried as her head disappeared into her hands. I had reached the part of my story where Malfoy tried to kiss me. I knew it was stupid to bring it up but I'd figured she should hear it from me and not from someone else.

"Pansy," I say over her cries of distress. "Pansy! I didn't let him kiss me, okay?" My headaches; I was up all night wondering about Malfoy.

"Really?" She asks looking up from her hands. Her face is already red and eyes are puffy. I'll admit that Pansy isn't the most attractive girl in Hogwarts. She has a pug face and a nasally voice. It's honestly no surprise why Malfoy wouldn't love her. Not like I'm calling myself pretty.

"Really, really. I told him no," I say laying a hand on her arm.

What did he say to that?" she asks warily.

"Er…uh…," I say, not sure if I should mention what Malfoy said after that. I can't handle another cry fest.

"Rae, just tell me, I can handle it," she says sniffing. The blood shot eyes and wails had proved differently. But I went ahead.

"Alright," I say sighing, "he said that eventually I would want him to."

"To what?" she asks. I so want to stop my story and leave but it's never that easy with Pansy.

"To kiss me," I say simply, picking at my eggs with a fork. I brace myself for the shrill shriek and wince when I hear them. She puts her head on her arms and cries.

"Pansy," I say softly. "Pansy, really I don't want him too. I don't like him anymore today than I did yesterday. Tomorrow I'll still hate him and the next day and the day after that. If anything, I'll hate him more for trying to kiss me."

She says something, but through the tears and the table, I can't understand. "I can't understand you," I say trying not to show how annoyed I am. She is my best friend and this is half my fault but it's so hard to put up with her some days.

"You won't like him back?" she says louder this time so I can hear her.

"Not at all. Would I do something like that to you?"

She lifts her head and smiles a little. "No. I'm so stupid, Rae. I should know better."

I smile back. "Eat your food before it gets cold," I say shoving her plate back at her.

She picks up her fork and takes a bit of eggs. The table squeaks as someone sits down, I look up to see Malfoy sitting across from me. Pansy's eyes fill threateningly with tears, I look at her encouragingly.

"Morning, ladies," Malfoy says smirking at us. "So, Rae, fell for anyone lately?"

Pansy jumps up from the table and runs out of the Great Hall, crying the whole way. I glare at Malfoy. "You prat," I half yell at him.

"It was just a question," he says, not at all guilty. "Like it's my fault she hangs onto chemistry that's not there. But speaking of chemistry," he raises his eyebrows at me.

"You're disgusting," I say getting up. "Now it you'll excuse me, I have to find Pansy before she drowns herself in her own tears. Thank you for making things that much more difficult."

"Happy to help," he says as I walk away. "See you later, babe."


	8. Chapter 8

I was running out of the Great Hall in hopes of catching Pansy before she hung herself from misery. Obviously I was paying more attention to catching Pansy than where I was going because I ran into someone. I stumbled back a few steps. "Sorry."

"It's okay," I groan inwardly already knowing who it is. Blaise.

"I'm sorry, Blaise, I'm looking for Pansy. Have you seen her?" I say without looking him in the eye.

"Yeah she was running back towards the common room. She's a right state." He says. I can tell by the sound of his voice he's already heard about my Malfoy problem, probably from the grey-eyed terror himself. Oh, damn. As if Pansy wasn't enough of a problem already.

"Thanks," I try to cut around him but he blocks my way by grabbing my shoulder.

"What's going on with you and Malfoy?" he asks.

"Nothing," I say, keeping my head down and trying to get past him.

"It doesn't sound like nothing," he says, still not letting me by. "Do you like him? Are you together?"

I'm getting fed up with the lack of trust around here. I finally look up at Blaise. "Listen, Zabini, whatever relationship I have with Draco Malfoy is none of your business."

"So you do have a thing for him?" he says angry and hurt.

"No-I-" I stutter around the words trying to get my point out. Things don't get much better when I hear Malfoy's cold voice speak up from behind me. "Rae, stop trying to deny it."

I stop in mid-sentence and inhale. Malfoy steps up next to me and wraps an arm around my waist. I really don't want him to but I'm pretty sure that if I try to get him to stop I'll go overboard and break his arm. I wish I could without getting in trouble.

"Sorry, Blaise," Malfoy sneers at his friend, "but Rae's finally seen the light and has decided to be with _me_." Blaise's face drops but he glares at Malfoy.

I smile sweetly at both of them while grabbing one of Malfoy's fingers that are still around my waist. I pull it back until it's close to breaking point. He gasps in pain and pulls away from me. "What the hell?" he asks angrily, inspecting his hurt finger. Blaise looks a little happier seeing me deny Malfoy.

"Sorry, Malfoy, but it seems you have your facts mixed up. When I said 'no,' I meant 'hell no.'"

Malfoy leers at Blaise who has started laughing, but he immediately stops seeing Malfoy's face. Malfoy stares down at me; he's a good three inches taller then me. I stand my ground and glare back at him, hoping that it covers up the fact that I am a tiny bit intimidated.

"Listen well, and listen well, Garrick. The day will come that you _will_ fall for me," he growls.

"I don't know what goes on in that platinum-hair covered head of yours, but I'll tell you one thing: I am not interested in dating anyone with an ego as big as yours. And be careful with your answer to _that_ one, Malfoy, people are starting to stare," I finish off with a large bravado. Malfoy looks around to see that people are in fact staring at us as they walk by. He glares one last time at me and stalks off.

Blaise snorts with laughter. "You got him good," he says.

"Thanks," I say already walking past him.

"Hey, wait," he says. I stop and turn around to face him. "Since there isn't anything going on between you and Malfoy, how about we go to Hogsmeade together next-"

"No," I say cutting him off. "Like I said before, I have to find Pansy. I have no time to discuss my dating options with _you_." I turn on my heels to leave a dumbstruck Blaise behind me.


	9. Chapter 9

I get back to our dormitory to find Pansy's Slytherin curtains pulled around her bed, muffled sobs coming from behind them.

"Pansy," I say through them, "Please come out, I want to talk to you."

My answer is another loud wail. I rub my temples.

"Pansy, please just talk to me," I beg. I really hate when she does this, it annoys me so much.

The sobs stop enough for Pansy to say: "I thought you were my friend, Rae," she collapsed into more tears. "How could you?!"

"I am, Pansy," I say. "I didn't do anything."

"Liar!" She cries. I'm really happy no one else is here or else I'd be really embarrassed.

"Pansy, I already told you I have to feelings for Malfoy," I say wearily.

"That's just what you want me to think, I saw the way he looked at you," she cries. "He loves you! I should have known!"

I puff up angrily, this is just ridiculous, "Pansy, stop crying. You're being stupid; I've already told you that I would never date Malfoy. And if this is the kind of opinion you have of me, then go ahead and keep having your pity-party." How can one person cry so much?

Her heavy cries stop and a few chocking sobs can be heard from behind her curtains. She pulls them open and launches herself at me. Her arms are wrapped around me in a lung-crushing hug. "Oh Rae, I am sorry. I believed you and then Draco had to go and say that and I just thought there was something you weren't telling me. I'm _so _sorry." She buried her face in my robes and started bawling again.

I pat her on the head. "It's okay, Pansy, I understand. But, why would you ever think that I'd hide something from you? Of course he'd say something like that, Malfoy's just an ass."

"I know," she says.

I laugh remembering Malfoy's face when I totally owned him earlier. "You should have seen him when I left the Great Hall to find you," She looks up at me with interest so I keep talking. "I ran into Blaise who was all upset that "something was going on between me and Malfoy," I used my fingers to do air quotes."I told him that any relationship I have with Malfoy is none of his business and he thought I mean I did like Malfoy. So I'm trying to set him straight when Malfoy shows up and says that I _do_ have a thing for him."

"What did you do?" she asks, she sounds like a toddler in awe.

"I told him off. I said that 'when I mean 'no,' I meant 'hell no''. So he told me eventually I would want him and I said that I don't want anything to do with a guy that has an ego as big as his and that he should keep his mouth shut because people were staring. Then, he got all mad and stalked off. Then, Blaise actually gets the nerve to try to get a date with me after I told Malfoy off."

Pansy laughs until she's crying again, this time from laughing. "I would have loved to see Zabini's face. I'm sorry that I ever tried to get you to like him; what a prat!"

I shrug, "It's okay. I just wish I hadn't walked away so fast, I kinda wanted to see his face," I made a face that looked like a mental troll. Pansy collapses on her bed, laughing.

"Aw…," she moans. "We missed potions."

A look of horror passes over my face and my heart goes to my throat. "Potions! Snape'll kill me! Not to mention…aw man! That means my grade's gonna drop even more!" I sink onto the bed next to her.

"What's so bad about that?" she asks. "You've never really cared about your grades before."

"It means that Snape will give me detention. And, because Malfoy didn't help me get my grade up, he will, too. Detention with Malfoy, this sucks."


	10. Chapter 10

I stand outside the potions room and gulp. Class just ended; I've already missed one class, so it probably doesn't matter if I'm late for another. Snape's going to be a bitch about this and Malfoy's probably going to be even worse. I can't beleive I forgot.

I sigh and push the door open hesitantly and it creaks angrily. It feels like even the door is mad at me. Snape's sitting at his desk with Malfoy standing in front of him, Malfoy's back is to me. He turns around when I open the door but his face is unreadable; he's probably never gotten detention from Snape before. Snape waves me in.

I make my way up to the front of the room and stand next to Malfoy in front Snape. Taps plays in my mind. I'm so dead. I can handle detention from _any_ other teacher, but not Snape. I could even handle McGonagall, she's harsh, but Snape is a trip to hell compared to her.

"As I was just telling Draco before you decided to show," Snape sneers. I grimace, "I'd hate to have to give two of my own house detention. But seeing that your grade has not improved, I have to. Detention, one week, be here at eight starting Saturday night, both of you. And Miss. Garrick, no points for your Moonstone essay."

Malfoy and I turn and leave, both heading out to Care of Magical Creatures. As soon as we get out of Snape's earshot, Malfoy starts ranting at me. "How could you leave me high and dry like that? Sure, be angry at me, but _detention_? _Detention_, Garrick?"

I flinch at the amount pressure he puts on the word detention, "I'm sorry, I lost track of time. I was talking to Pansy," I'm surprised at myself that I'm actually apologizing to him, but semi-relieved that he's not calling me Rae. Him yelling at me is better than flirting.

"I'll say. You're so stupid," he crosses his arms and pouts. He looks really funny doing that.

"Does that mean you don't like me anymore?" I ask hopefully.

He smirks at me, "No, it doesn't that. I still like you."

"What?" I ask shocked. "But-I got us both detentions for a week. How can you still like me after that?"

"Because, it just proves that we're a lot alike," he smirks at my confusion. "I would have done the same thing to you that you did to me. I would have landed us both detentions just to get back at you."

I stare wide-eyed and open mouth at him, he continues. "So, Rae, your little plan backfired. I like you even more now, just because I know that our chemistry isn't purely physical attraction, we've got the same personality, too."

I stop walking and stare dumbstruck after him as he struts off. Is he kidding? He likes me _more_ now? What the hell did I do to deserve this? What the _bloody hell_ did I do? This sucks. Am I going to have to beat him off with a stick or something?

Malfoy stops to wait for me. "Hurry up, Garrick. If you want more detentions with me, it's understandable, but I'd like to just stick with a week for now. We'll see what mayhem we can cause later."

I open my mouth to tell him off, but close it again, knowing it'll make no difference. I run to catch up with him. He smirks at me and I feel my eye twitch. I was right about it becoming an on-going thing, at least.


	11. Chapter 11

Several girls giggled when Malfoy and I showed up late for class, together

"Nice of ya two ta show," Hagrid rumbles. "If yar late again, it'll be detention."

I took my place next to Pansy. "What did I miss?" I whisper.

"Nothing at all exciting," she mutters back. "Never mind that, though, how bad did you get it?"

"Detention, a week, with Malfoy. Not to mention I don't get any points for my Moonstone essay." I say, disgusted.

"It could have been worse, I guess," Pansy says, sounding a little envious of my extra time around Malfoy. I would happily trade place with her every day for the next week.

I snort out a laugh, a couple other students turn to look at me. "Oh please, Pansy, being around Malfoy for a few extra hours for a whole week is bad enough."

"I'm just saying that he could have given you two weeks or three," she mutters.

"Don't say stuff like that, it's enough to make me sick."

She shrugs. "What did Draco have to say about detention for a week?"

"Oh…uh," I say not sure what to tell her. She gives me her 'just-say-it-and-get-it-over-with' look. I sigh. "Alright, Malfoy got all pissed off at first so I was all hopeful that he was just going to get over me but he said that he likes me more than ever now."

She stares at me with a strange look on her face, it almost made me laugh. "Are you serious?" she asks.

I nod. "He said that he likes me more because we have more than just 'physical attraction' since we have the 'same personality.'

"How did he get that in his head?" she asks.

"Because he thinks I skipped class just to get him in trouble as paybacks for being a prat earlier."

"You guys are complete opposites. I mean you…he…you know," Pansy says thoughtfully, "you two are a lot alike."

"Don't say that!" I say loudly, causing most of the class to look back at us. I blush and wait for everyone to start paying attention again. I lower my voice so I won't interrupt again. "Pansy, in case you're forgetting, I _hate_ him. I think liking the person is a requirement before you start dating them."

Pansy shrugs, not wanting to try to convince me about liking Malfoy. She still wants a chance with him. I hope she gets him and I don't. I hope Malfoy falls for Pansy and forgets about me. I hope Malfoy goes back to ignoring me just like he used to. I hope I can go back to hating him in peace.


	12. Chapter 12

Saturday night comes way too quickly and before I know it, it is five to eight and I'm standing outside Professor Snape's classroom. I am happy to say that I managed an excuse so I wouldn't have to walk to detention with Malfoy. Figuring I can't put this off any longer, I shove the heavy door open.

Snape is sitting at his desk and Malfoy's sitting at one of the tables. As I walk in, Malfoy turns to look at me. He raises his eyebrows in a seductive sort of way. I shake my head realizing what I just thought. Malfoy seductive? No way. I take my place sitting next to him trying to clear the creepy mental images of him naked from my head. As much as I hate to admit it, it is a nice thought.

Snape finishes writing and looks up at us. "You will be reorganizing my potion storages," he opens the door on the side of the classroom to show all his potion supplies. "It seems over the years that things become a little out of order. I want things in alphabetical order, A at the top, Z at the bottom. Left to right. Everything should be labeled, if not, look it up. It should be perfect practice for you," he looked at me specifically when he said the last part. I wanted really badly to stick my tongue out at him.

Malfoy and I stepped into the tiny room. As small as it was, I realized how much stuff there was in here. Snape closed the door behind us, saying he had work to do and not to disturb him. Malfoy and I had just enough room to move around without bumping into each other or knocking things over.

"It's pretty cramped in here," Malfoy said raising his eyebrows again and smirking. I feel my stomach churn nervously.

"Shut it, Malfoy," I say, sounding much more under control then I really am.

He just smirks and pulls the first thing off the shelf next to him. "Dragon Blood," he says reading the label. He sighs and looks up at the shelves out of our reach. "D…goes up there."

"Just be happy he didn't say we couldn't use magic," I say snatching it out of his hand and levitating it up to an empty spot on the top shelf. "I really don't want to climb all the way up there."

"No kidding," he says. "But, on the bright side, I'd have a nice view of your butt from down here." I punch him in the arm, but he only laughs.

"Work," I say shoving a bottle into his hand. He shrugs and levitates it to the right shelf. When Snape had said "unorganized" he'd meant it. Things were tipped over and spilling over some of the shelves. One had spilled and burned a whole in the shelf where it had spilled, Malfoy and I both refused to touch it. One, that had spilled, looked innocent enough to touch and when Malfoy picked up the bottle, where his hand had touched the liquid turned a vivid blue. He said it itched like crazy and had to have Snape clear it up before he could continue sorting anything else. Some were easy to figure out, like a strong love potion. Just the sent made images of Malfoy come to mind. He tried to make me hold that one as long as possible when he noticed the effects.

"Like I said before," Malfoy says about half an hour before we can leave, "There's not a lot of room in here."

"Shut up," I say to him. "We have 6 more days of this, save some of your pick up lines."

He only smirks at me. I felt achy from bending over to pick up bottles and containers. I smelled like about a hundred different things. Malfoy and I were both so tired, that neither of us had the energy to torture the other. Instead, we both went to our dormitories and fell asleep immediately.


	13. Chapter 13

I switched a potion with another to align them in alphabetical order. It's mine and Malfoy's last night of detention. I hadn't realized that when Snape first told us we'd be rearranging the storage room for detention that it'd be a two hour job a night for seven days. Quick mental math tells me that that's fourteen hours of work…I think. Math isn't my strong point.

I glanced over at Malfoy who is working on switching around two bottles on the top shelf; he _is_ working but a little less than I am. He defiantly let me do the brunt of the work. I don't really mind, I'd rather do it by myself and do it right then have him help and screw it up.

I'm shocked to even admit this, but detention with Malfoy wasn't as bad as I thought it'd be. I expected him to be hitting on me at every lull in conversation. Instead, he actually held conversations with me like a civilized person (I'm waiting for the apocalypse to happen any second now. Fire raining from the heavens, swarms of locus, and whatever else happens during the end of the world). I've learned a lot about him. He actually hates Pansy (which made me feel really bad), he wants to be a Potions master when he leaves Hogwarts. He knows Occlumency and can do a Protean Charm. Pretty amazing to put it mildly.

Malfoy looked up to meet my eyes, I blushed and looked away. I'd been doing that every time I met his eyes. I attempted to go back to work.

I heard him groan, "Do you know what time it is? I'm sick of potions. I'm sick of rearranging them, too."

"I don't know what time it is," I said.

He groaned again. "I never thought I'd hate Snape, but at the moment I do."

I lay down on the dirty floor and held my wand over my face to stare at it. "I never thought I'd hate magic, but at the moment I do."

He sat down next to me. "Speaking of magic," he smirked and raised his eyebrows. He's gotten into a bad habit of doing that every time he flirts with me.

"Ugh," I sat up to glare at him, "Do you have to do that?"

"Do what?" He asked all innocent like.

"Turn everything I say into a pick up line. Do you have any idea how annoying it is?"

"Well, you're falling for me a lot slower than I thought you would, I have to help you out," He smirked.

"You're really pushing it," I said.

"Is it working?" he asked, ignoring me.

"No," I stood up and moved away from him.

"Aw, com'on," he said seductively. "You have to like me a little bit more then when we started."

"Nope," I lied. In fact, I have a new respect for Malfoy. At least on the acquaintance scale; I refuse to admit we're friends.

"You sure?" he purred.

"Positive," my voice was shaking.

"Really positive?" He leaned against the shelf with one hand; the sad part is I'm between him and the shelf.

"Very," I said, not sure of my answer anymore than he is. He's leaned towards me just like he did the night he had to tutor me. I already knew what was coming and I couldn't get away from him. My worst nightmare was about to happen: Draco Malfoy was going to kiss me. He's less then two inches away from me. I braced myself.

The storage door swungs open. Snape. I never knew I could be happy to see him. "Your detention is over," he said to us. I sighed in relief. Snape is now my hero.

I practically ran him over to get out of the classroom. Before I could get out the door, Snape called me back. "Just because you got detention doesn't mean I don't expect your grade to get better. Draco will continue to tutor you." Behind Snape's back, Malfoy grinned.

I nodded, feeling sick, and walked out the door. More torturing? Wasn't detention with him for a week enough? Did I do something really bad that I don't know about? Like, kill someone in my last life?

I speed walked so Malfoy can't walk with me. Despite the fact that he got interrupted, he seemed pleased with himself. I could almost see him smirking as he walked behind me.

I got to the common room and was half-way to the girls' dormitory when I heard Malfoy call: "I'll see you after supper for tutoring, Rae," he was half laughing. I wanted so badly to go over and break his nose. He's unbearable.


	14. Chapter 14

"Aw, Rae, I'm sorry," Pansy tells me at breakfast the next morning. "You'd think detention with him was enough." I can tell by her voice she's not really sorry. To her, detention with Malfoy for a week and being tutored by him would be cloud nine. To me, it's the deepest part of hell, where Satan himself repeatedly pokes me with a burning stick.

"It should be," I say picking at my food. "I think Snape hates me."

"Why would he hate you?" She asks putting a slice of bacon on her plate.

"Because he's sticking me with Malfoy," I say, disgusted.

"You know, I think you like Malfoy a little more than you let on," Pansy says elbowing me and grinning.

"I don't," I say blushing red. Me and Malfoy? Yuck.

"You do," she squeals. "Look at your face, it's all red. You really like Draco!"

"Shuddup. I do not," I say reaching over and talking one of those little jelly packets that you get at restaurants.

"Rae, it's okay to like him," Pansy says seriously. "I mean, look at him, what's not to like?"

"His attitude," I growl.

"You know you like him," Pansy teases.

"Well, I can honestly say this is the best eavesdropping I've ever done," Malfoy's is suddenly between me and Pansy, smirking. "It's great to know that you finally fell for me, Rae."

I clench my fist in anger and feel the packet of jelly pop. My whole hand is suddenly covered in Grape Jelly. I swear, loudly, and try to wipe it off.

"So Rae, since you've finally got a thing for me, maybe that tutoring thing we had tonight can turn into a snog feast," Malfoy says, smirking.

"Or you could just shove it, Malfoy," I spit. "I still don't like you; Pansy was skipping to conclusions."

"Did you know that Blaise finally found himself a nice girl and has completely moved on from you?" Malfoy asks, completely unaffected by my comment.

"Well, that's good for him. Now he can stop following me around," I say, still attempting to get the jelly off my hand.

"Yeah, so he and I made a bet on how long it takes before you're all over me," Malfoy says.

"That's really nice," I growl. I glance at Pansy who's trying her best not to laugh. She doesn't even care that Malfoy is flirting with me.

"I say it takes you a week. Blaise says three days," Malfoy laughs. "I can tell you, that this is one bet I can't wait to lose."

"Trust me, you'll both lose." I wipe my jelly covered hand across his face leaving a smear of purple jelly across his cheek.

Malfoy glares at me. "Thanks for that Rea. Can't wait to see you in three day, Rae," he winks at me and runs a napkin across his sticky face. He stands up and sticks his hands in pockets, whistling the whole way out of the Great Hall.

I glare at his retreating back. Pansy giggles. I go back to my food and stab my toast with the butter knife.

"Who's this new girl for Blaise?" I ask, trying to sound normal. I really don't care, but I got to get my mind of Malfoy somehow.

Pansy giggles, blushes, and turns away.

"Aw, Pansy, no!" I groan. "It's you?"

"Yes," Pansy says, smiling. This is the same face she always has when she talks about Malfoy.

"Ugh."

"He and I were talking about how I have no chance with Malfoy and he has no chance with you. So we both just…" she shrugged and grinned.

"Yea, okay. Let's jus- go to class," I say. That was way T.M.I. Too much information.

Pansy shrugs and follows me out the door.


	15. Chapter 15

I lean on my hand, propping myself up on the couch in the Slytherin common room. "I don't understand any of this," I tell Malfoy, who has been desperately trying to explain it to me for the last half an hour. The candles have burned down nearly all the way, making the common room flicker even more.

"How can you not?" he asks. "It's so simple. All you do it add crap to a cauldron!"

"Yeah, but I don't understand _which_ crap to add," I say.

Malfoy sighs; he obviously has no idea what to tell me. He runs a hand through his platinum hair. We sit there in silence for a few minutes. "So," Malfoy says. Just by the sound of his voice, I can tell what he's going to say.

"So what?" I ask, trying to keep my voice level.

"Why won't you admit we're a lot alike?" he asks, turning to look at me.

I groan. "Can we not start this? Aren't we supposed to be studying?"

"Just answer the question."

"Because we're not," I say.

"Yeah, we are."

"No."

"Name one way we're not alike," he says smirking. He thinks he's got me beat.

"You're a prat and I'm not," I say, seriously wanting to stick my tongue out at him.

"So, every time you shoot me down, that doesn't make you just as much of a prat?" he asks. He's really smirking now; he knew exactly what I was going to say and already had a come-back. "No offense, Rea, but you can be a hard core bitch. But I find it _sexy_." He leans towards me.

I glare at him since I don't have a decent insult. "You're such a jerk." The way he said 'sexy' made me shiver.

"Seriously, Rae, name one way we're not alike," he says, smirk fading.

"Uh…personality wise?" I ask, not fully understanding the question.

"Yes."

"I actually care about what other people think of me," I say.

He scoffs and gives me a "you-can-do-better-than-that" look.

"I don't hate Harry Potter with every fiber of my being _unlike some people_," I give him pointed stare.

"Oh, please, Rae," he says, shaking his head. "I've seen the way you watch him when he walks by. You don't glare at him, like I do, but you obviously don't like him."

"Dislike not hate," I point out the little difference.

"Same thing," he says. "You just don't want to admit that you and I have a lot in common." He ends with a smirk.

"We have nothing in common," I cross my arms and turn away from him. I feel like a spoiled kid doing that.

He leans towards me. "Yes we do," he says in a sing-song voice. Hearing Malfoy do something like that was enough to make me laugh.

"Fine," I say angrily. "I _hate_ Harry Potter. God, he thinks he's so great. Dumbledore's freaking star-student. "I'm the only one to ever survive you-know-who" la la la. It's enough to make me puke. Dumbledore's too old and senile to be teaching still. McGonagall needs to take a freaking chill pill. I hate classes and I _know_ I will never need to know what the use of moonstones or what potions Aconitum is used in _anywhere_ in my future."

I end my ranting to look back at Malfoy. He looks like Christmas came early; I knew I shouldn't have admitted all that.

"Yes, I knew it!" he cheers. "We do have a lot in common. I can't wait to see Blaise's face!"

I hold up my hand to stop him. "I said we have a lot in common, I didn't say I would go out with you."

"Aren't they the same thing at this point?" he asks raising an eyebrow.

Is he really that stupid? "No…they're not," I say, shaking my head a little.

"But…you just didn't think we had anything in common," he says. He doesn't even look bothered, he's even still smirking!

"Yeah but I still think you're a prat."

"But you're a prat, too," he says in the same sing-song voice he used earlier. This time it wasn't as funny.

"You are still a prat," I say, putting stress on every word.

"Alright, I'm a prat," he says putting his legs up on the table and leaning back. Picture of perfect relaxation. "But, can I be your prat?"

I hit him upside the head. "Shut up, Malfoy, I'm going to bed."

"G'night," he says. "See you in the morning, my little prat."

I sulk the rest of the way to the Girls' Dormitory.


	16. Chapter 16

I watch Malfoy from across the classroom. McGonagall is talking about transfiguration of beetles into something else; that just shows how much I'm paying attention.

I thought about what Malfoy had said about us being alike, and as much as I hate to say it, he's right. I am a lot like him. I pick on younger students, I hate Harry Potter, I only keep my grades up (other than potions) because my parents will get mad at me if I don't, and well, I'm kind of a jerk. Sometimes, not always.

But despite all our similarities, I still hate him. Or, I still want to hate him. As much as I don't want like it, Malfoy's grown on me. I'm not learning a damn thing from him, but potion tutoring is somewhat enjoyable. I actually miss detention with him and maybe we could (as he said) "Cause mayhem" and get more detentions together. Honestly, and I'm happy this is my own thought and no one else will ever know this, Draco Malfoy is probably the sexiest man I've ever seen in my life. Saying "Draco" makes me tingle all the way down my spine. And, I won't lie, I dreamt about him kissing me last night and I didn't wake up vomiting.

Malfoy caught me looking at him and smirked. I looked away without even a glare. I quit trying to dissuade his liking me. I'd rather just ignore that fact.

When I'm sure he's not looking at me anymore, I look back at him. Why would Malfoy pick me, of all people, to fall in love with? I know plenty of girls who would kill for the chance to date him. I, on the other hand, don't even like the guy. I'm not trying to brag, I'm pretty, but only a B cup. Some girls that kiss his shoes are at least a D. I _do_ have flawless skin, but that's really my only bragging right. I'm short, only about 5'3" and 120 lbs, Draco's like 6 foot and thin but muscled. He _towers_ over me; someone with his obsession with looks, wouldn't he want someone that didn't clash with him. He's blonde and slick, I've got about as dark hair as it can get with loose ring curls. His eyes are grey, mine and brown. We are total physical opposites.

"Garrick," McGonagall's harsh voice brings me back, "I'm up here, not sitting next to Mr. Malfoy. Please pay attention."

Malfoy silently laughed to himself and said quietly said something to Crabbe and Goyle that made them laugh sluggishly with him. Even Pansy, sitting next to me, snickered under her breath. I gave her an annoyed look that shut her up instantly.

At the end of class, I walked out with Pansy, trying desperately to ignore Malfoy's carrying voice. He was walking next to me before I had even realized it; his thugs right next to him.

"McGonagall was pretty mad at you, Rae," he says. "Now why don't you tell me exactly why you were staring at me? Was it my stunning looks or my charming personality that finally caught you?"

"Or none of the above," I say sweetly. "I was only trying to decide what charm to use when I dye your hair in your sleep tonight. I'm thinking a nice Cherry Red would go great with your robes."

He's a little lost for words, but Pansy shrieks with laughter. "I'll see you later, Malfoy," I say going down a different corridor. "Tutoring later, right?" I gave him a cute wave and a 'tata' before walking away.

Pansy continues to giggle. "I'm sorry, but I'm just imagining his hair bright red." For the first time, I imagine it, too. I laugh with her. "Screw the hair color, think of his face!" I say.

Pansy laughs harder, tears leaking out of her eyes. "He looks like a pissed off cat!" she says.

I only nod. I can't even talk; I can hardly breathe for laughter. We reach Divination before we finally stop laughing. I follow Pansy up the ladder, still thinking about Malfoy and his Cherry Red hair.

Malfoy looks over my essay for Snape, or at least what I've got done. "Good job," he says, smirking. "Looks like I've taught you something after all." I won't mention that Pansy all but wrote this for me. "I think you'll actually get points on this. Too bad, no shot at detention."

"Are you saying you _want_ me to fail?" I tease. "Isn't that counterproductive?"

"Ah, not if we spend time together," he smirks and raises a perfect eyebrow at me.

"Excuse me," Malfoy and I both look up and the girl who spoke. She's clutching a roll of parchment and looking at Malfoy. She must be only a year younger than us.

"What?" Malfoy say, rather rudely.

"Well, I overheard Professor Snape saying that you have been helping another student with their potions homework. And, well, I'm not doing very well in his class, so I was hoping that maybe you could help me," she says all this very quickly and rather nervously.

"Oh," Malfoy says. He smirks and looks full of himself. "I'd love to help you. Rae," he says looking at me, "You're doing well by yourself, so why don't you just finish up on your own?"

I grit my teeth but smile and nod. The girl links her arm through Malfoy's and they walk to an empty table on the other side of the common room. I clutch my quill, crushing the feathers. What a little flirt.

I watch her and Malfoy from across the room. The girl speaks in a high voice that has to be fake. She repeatedly leans on Malfoy's arm to write. Malfoy smirks at her whenever she does this; he knows exactly what she's doing. What a prat. She's the exact type of girl I had mentioned before. She was about 5'6" (three inches taller than me) perfect and straight beach blonde hair. Her blue eyes were only a few shades darker than his. All in all, they look good together.

I cross my arms and sulk. I'm not going to finish my homework. Then maybe Malfoy and I will get detention, again. I laugh triumphantly at the thought.

After close to an hour, the girl finally yawns and declares she's going to bed. She says something I can't hear, Malfoy nods, and she goes to the Girls' Dormitory.

Malfoy looks at me, still sulking, and smirks. He struts over and stands in front of me. "You look a little upset," he says.

"I'm fine," I lie. I refuse to look him in the eyes.

"Really? You look a little…jealous," he says this like he's finally got me.

"Nope, not at all."

"Well that's good because Miranda, that's her name, asked me to go to Hogsmeade with her next weekend," he tilts his head that very clearly says "and-what-are-you-going-to-say-to-that?"

"Good for you," I say stiffly. _What? They're _already_ together?_ "And does this Miranda do better in Potions than me?"

"Oh, no," he says. I smile victoriously but then it fades as he continues. "She's much worse. At this rate, I'll be tutoring her for the rest of the year and it's only the beginning of December."

Malfoy will be tutoring her now all year and with help from Pansy and the little assistance that Malfoy's been giving me, my grade in Potions has steadily increased. Meaning: Malfoy tutors Miranda and I get kicked out of the study circle.

"Well, that's…just great," I say gathering my things together and standing up. "If that's all, I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yep," he smirks at me. "Sorry that you can't go to Hogsmeade with me, I know how much you want to."

"And I know how much you enjoy those little fantasy's of yours," I snap back. "God, Malfoy."

I trudge past him and to the Girls' Dormitory. I fall asleep thinking of that stupid girl and Malfoy in Hogsmeade together.


	17. Chapter 17

I take a drink from my glass of Butterbeer and put it back down on the table with a bang. "Calm down, Rae," Pansy says from across the table. We're sitting in the Three Broomsticks in Hogsmeade. Malfoy and Mirandaare sitting across the pub from us.

I snort in discuss when Miranda touches his arm, laughing, after he told a joke. Pansy sighs. "Why won't you just admit it?"

"Admit what?" I growl. I don't even look at her; I just glare at the little blonde slut sitting across from Malfoy.

"That you like Malfoy," Pansy says.

"I do _not_ like him," I say finally looking at her.

"Rae, we've been sitting here for an hour watching them flirt with each other and all you've done is mope."

"What's your point?"

"Just face it: you're jealous."

I don't say anything for awhile. When she lays her hand on his and bats her eyes, I stand up, nearly knocking over our drinks. "Let's go."

"_Finally_," Pansy says, jumping up nearly as fast as I did. From across the room, Malfoy smirks at me as we walk out.

I stand outside, shivering in the cold air. Christmas is only two weeks away and I haven't gotten anyone anything. I turn to go to the joke shop, but Pansy goes the other direction. "Pansy? Where are you going?" I ask.

"Oh, I told Blaise I'd meet him," she says blushing. "Sorry."

I sigh angrily and head back to the Castle without going to another shop. I go straight to the Slytherin common room and sulk some more.

What does Malfoy see in that little bimbo anyway? She's only a 4th year, which may be only a year younger than us but still. She's such a flirt. Malfoy needs someone who will keep him on earth, not up in the clouds. _Miranda_ won't keep him in check at all. She'll flirt with him and he'll get an even bigger head than he already has. His head will be as big as her boobs and that's obviously all he can keep his eyes on. I'd be such a better girlfriend than she would.

I surprised myself with that thought.

I sit there until all the other students filter in. They're laughing and showing off all the things the bought in the village. Malfoy comes in with Miranda hanging on his arm like he's all that stands between her and death. I roll my eyes and shift around in my chair so I don't have to look at them.

I hear her say good-bye to him and after a second Malfoy sits down next to me. "Have a good time?" he asks.

"Yep," I pop the 'p'

"Really?" He asks. Doubt.

"Really really."

"Did you have a good time staring at me and my date?" he asks smirking.

"I wasn't staring at you," I think quickly. "I was staring at the guy at the table next to you."

"Which guy? Do you mean Crabbe or Goyle? Those were the only guys next to us," he raises an eyebrow in an amused manner.

I glare. "Fine, I was staring at you and _Miranda_," I mock her name.

He smirks. I've learned that Malfoy has a lot of different smirks. He has the seductive smirk, the teasing smirk, the mocking smirk, the 'I've-got-you-now' smirk, the rude smirk, the playful smirk, the 'what's-your-next-move' smirk, and (my favorite) the normal-nothing-special smirk. This time it was the 'I've-got-you-now' smirk. "Why so jealous?" he asks.

"Not jealous," I say simply.

"Rae," he says. Up to this point I haven't looked at him but now I did. He has a look on his face that says 'you're-being-stupid-I-know-you-better-then-that-now-quit-lying-and-tell-the-truth.'

I say nothing.

"Rae, really. You sat there for an hour glaring at me. You went through half a dozen butterbeers. If that's not jealousy, I don't know what is."

I still remain silent.

"Fine," He stands up. "If you're not going to say anything, I'm going to bed," he starts to go to the Boys' Dormitory, half way he turns back to look at me. "Rae, you're really complicated you know that? You say you hate me and half the time you act like you do. But the other half the time, you know you love to be around me." With that he left the common room.

After he was gone, I got up and went to my own dormitory. I changed clothes and pulled the curtains around my bed behind me. I curled up into a ball and hugged my knees to my chin. Malfoy and Pansy were right. I was jealous of Miranda. Malfoy tutoring someone else is just…wrong. That's the only word for it. If he hadn't had gone with that girl, Pansy, Blaise, Malfoy, and I would have been sitting in the Three Broomsticks laughing over Butterbeer and having a great time; instead he had a date and I had to sit and watch him flirt the whole time. _I didn't hate to_, I remind myself. _I sat and watched him because I was, I hate to admit it, jealous._ I know I don't love Malfoy but it's nice that I can find someone I agree with sometimes, very rarely if I want to be truthful.

I feel stupid laying here, knowing that I'm so mad at so many people who don't deserve my anger. I'm even mad at Pansy, because she's happy and I'm not. Blaise because, like Pansy, is happy. Crabbe and Goyle, who are so stupid they probably don't know the meaning of happiness. I feel even stupider knowing that this girl might not even be a permanent thing for Malfoy. She might just shrivel up and die for all I know. I wish she would just shrivel up and die. Maybe Malfoy will see through her flirty exterior to the annoying wench under neither.

I was so angry and spiteful, I was close to crying. The tears wouldn't come as much as I felt like crying. I wanted to cry, I wanted to be jealous, and I wanted to hate that stupid Miranda. But I didn't hate Malfoy. I _couldn't_ hate Malfoy. I didn't even _want_ to hate him anymore. I wanted to sit there and talk with him when he was supposed to be helping me with potions, like we usually did. I wanted to have detention with him sorting Snape's storage. I wanted him to smirk and wink at me and tell me that I should bend over more so he could stare at my butt. I wanted Malfoy.

I pressed my face into my pillow and screamed.


	18. Chapter 18

I trudged down the stairs to the Great Hall for breakfast. It's the first day of Christmas Break. Pansy already went down with Blaise, so I'm alone. It's been a week since the Hogsmeade trip and Malfoy and I haven't spoken much. He doesn't seem to talk to Miranda much either, that makes me feel better.

I go down a side corridor to avoid the rush of people. I turn around the corner and run right into Malfoy. "Sorry," I mutter.

"It's okay," he says. "How come you weren't at breakfast?"

"I was just going," I say.

"Ah," he nods and glances up. He smirks the "I've-got-you-now smirk". "Mistletoe," he points up. I look up and almost directly between us is a small bundle of mistletoe. I blink a couple of times and wonder what to do. I could laugh and walk away. Just nod and do nothing. Or simply, kiss him. My mind seems to freeze after that. I don't know what to do. Kiss Malfoy? He's tried to kiss me before, but it was different. I hated him before. Now I'm kind of friends with him. Would kissing him change things?

He's leaning towards me, unlike last time, when he had me pinned to against a shelf, I could bolt and leave him standing there looking stupid. Instead, I lean forward towards him. Everything seemed to go really slow. He had been only a few feet away from me before but now it seemed like he was really far away. He's a foot away. A hand length away. Three inches away. And then.

"Draco!" Malfoy pauses only centimeters away from me. Miranda latches herself onto his arm and smiles sweetly up at him, completely oblivious to what she interrupted. "Draco, where have you been? I've been looking for you. I was thinking that maybe we could go sit in the common room in front of the fire?" she gave him an innocent look and walks her fingers up his arm and tweaks his nose I never thought someone _actually_ would do that.

"Actually," Malfoy says, "I was planning on spending some time with Rae"Oh," Miranda says looking very sour.

My heart has gone back to normal pace and my head is numb. I had almost kissed Malfoy and the only thing that stopped him was her. "No," I say quietly, "I'm sort of busy."

"Well you said you had to go eat still," Malfoy says. "I'll go with you."

"No, that's okay, I'm not hungry," I say monotone. My throats closed up. "I'll see you later."

I take a backwards glance and them as I walk away, Miranda sticks her tongue out at me when Malfoy isn't looking and drags him off.

I make my way back to the common room. Once I get back, I curl up on my bed like I had done the night before. I take a deep breath and close my eyes.

I had a hundred questions I wanted to ask myself, but I couldn't bring myself to answer them. For one, why was I so disappointed that Miranda showed up stopping Malfoy from kissing me? A month ago, I would have sent her a fruit basket and a Thank You card. Another question was why am I so jealous? Malfoy clearly wanted to get away from her and be around me but that wasn't good enough. And the most prominent question: why am I falling for Malfoy?


	19. Chapter 19

I walked to Charms the next morning by myself. I'm avoiding Malfoy and Pansy. Malfoy because I can't trust myself around him and Pansy because every time she sees me and Malfoy together she giggles and darts her eyes between the two of us.

A group of 4th year girls walks behind me; I can hear Miranda's voice laughing with them. She tells her friends she'll see them later and she jogs to catch up to me. She at waves her friends to leave. She turns and smiles sadly at me.

"I'm sorry," she says.

"'Bout what?" I ask.

"About you being shot down by Draco, of course," she says shocked.

"What are you talking about?"

"Draco told me that you have this weird obsession with him and that he keeps telling you he's not interested," she says smiling sadly. "He said that you took the fact that he and I are dating rather hard."

"Well, Malfoy lied to you then," I say. "I'm not obsessed with him."

"I'm just passing on what he said," she says shrugging. "And well, I shouldn't say this, but, he thinks it's pathetic of you to be so in love with him."

"You're right, you shouldn't have said that, you little snob," I say glaring at her. "Let me tell you something dear old Draco won't: I'm not the one obsessed with him, it's the other way around. All those things he's told you are lies. And if he settled for you, it's because he couldn't get me and obviously, because you're easy."

She glares back at me and makes a sound like a mad bull. She turns on her heels and storms away.

I take a short cut up to Charms and prepare to take my seat next to Pansy. I stop dead in my tracks when I see Blaise has taken my usual spot, leaving the only chair open next to Malfoy. I drop my books and sit down next to him, turning away so I don't have to look at the lying jerk.

"Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed," Malfoy says. Blaise and Pansy laugh. I say nothing, only stare ahead.

Flitwick launches into his lesson and tells us to review the spell from yesterday. I wave my wand lazily and pretend that I'm doing something. But, I'm actually replaying the conversation between myself and Malfoy's little girlfriend. That's disgusting. Malfoy's low but why would he sink that low?

Malfoy taps me on the shoulder and says that he's having problems and I should help him. He adds in a smirk afterwards.

"No," I say.

"No?" he asks.

"No, I won't help you," I tell him.

"Why?" he asks, smirking, obviously thinking this is all a joke.

"Because I'm mad at you," I pick up my quill and bring out my divination to avoid a conversation with Malfoy.

"Rae, you're _always_ mad at me," he says. He raises an eyebrow in an oh so seductive way

"This time I have a reason," I say flipping through my book, trying to ignore his sexy look.

"Which is?" he asks propping a hand up and resting his head on it.

"You should know," I say slamming my divination book.

"I don't…" he says now confused.

"You're stupid girlfriend told me what you actually think of me!" I say in a harsh whisper. "I should have known that your whole flirting thing was just a new way to annoy me."

"What are you talking about?" he asks.

"I'm pathetic and I'm obsessed with you?" if you can scream and whisper at the same time, I'm totally doing that now.

"What?" he asks.

"You're such an ass!" I say much louder then I should have.

I get up and make Blaise trade places with me. I'm so mad I'm seeing red. He tries to kiss me three times and then goes off and tells people that I'm the one obsessed.

I go out of my way to avoid him the rest of the day. I sit on the opposite side of the room during all our classes, I feel him watching me the whole time. I walk back to the dormitory and see him standing with Miranda, laughing. I feel hot tears in the corners of my eyes. I won't cry. He doesn't deserve that. One clings to my eye lashes and drops, bring with it a drizzle of mascara. I won't cry, not over a someone like Draco Malfoy.


	20. Chapter 20

I'm work on my potions homework, it's close to midnight and I'm the only one in the common room. I would have done this earlier, but Malfoy and Miranda had been down here. I couldn't take being in the same room with the liar, so I went to the Dormitory.

I sigh and put down my quill. If I wasn't so mad at Malfoy, I'd admit I still need his help. I'm surprised I haven't gotten detention again; I'm failing worse than ever. I look down at my supposed to be two foot long essay. I've got something around three inches.

I look up when someone comes into the common room. Malfoy. I refused to look at him, which became more difficult when he sat down next to me. I pick up my quill to write, making it easier to ignore him, but after a second I realized that I had nothing to write down since I had no idea what I was doing. Malfoy snickers next to me, knowing what I was trying to do.

"How's potions going?" he asks smirking.

"Fine and dandy," I reply.

He only laughs again. I finally look at him. "What do you want?"

"To talk to you," his laughing stops.

"Well, I don't want to talk to you," I say, shoving my things into my bag.

"Please just talk to me," he lays a hand on my knee. An imaginary spark travels from his hand to my brain. I look down at him and we both lock eyes for a second.

Ignoring the obvious moment we just had, I continue stuffing my things into my bag. "No."

"Rae-" he starts.

"You've been a complete ass, Malfoy. Flirting with me every time a conversation stops and then you just go and tell your new girlfriend that _I'm_ the one obsessed with _you_."

He grimaces. "That's what I wanted to say. She's not my girlfriend, alright?"

"What?" I stop packing my stuff away.

"She started trying to make it look like we were…well yeah. So I told her I was her tutor, not her boyfriend. She didn't like that," he added the last part with a laugh.

I broke my "don't-be-happy-around-Malfoy" rule by laughing. I quickly stopped and went back to pouting.

"Now what?" he asks. Clearly he thought everything would just be peachy after he told me about dear little Miranda.

"I'm still mad at you," I say glaring at him.

"Why?"

"Because, you should have told me right away, it's been like a week," I say.

"I didn't know what she had told you!" he says.

"So?" I say, accusingly.

He opens his mouth to say something but it turned into a defeated sigh. Then he smirked. "Would this make it better?" He took my chin in his hand and pulled me towards him. The sudden action was very anti-climatic, but a shocker none the less. Before I knew what was happening, I was kissing Draco Malfoy. His lips were pressed against mine like they belonged there. My throat closed up and I felt like I couldn't breathe. His mouth opened around mine and my head swam from lack of oxygen. For lack of better words, there were fireworks.

He pulled away and smirked. Malfoy just kissed me for the first time and he couldn't even give me a real smile. I only stared opened mouth at him, feeling like a bug under a light.

"Ha!" Malfoy laughed triumphantly. "You liked it. You know you did. I've been telling you all this time you'd fall for me and now you did. Who's the prat now?"

"Shut up," I say harshly. He gives me a shock look. "And kiss me again," I pull him back towards me. Before our lips met, he gives me another oh-so-sexy smirk.


	21. Chapter 21

_Rae,_

_ I realize this letter will arrive on your last day of school, but we have no time to wait any longer. I assume my last letter reached you and you realize what kind of danger we are in. _

_ I send this to you now so you can say your final good byes. I fear and presume you will not be returning to school next year. _

_ I will not go into details here and will explain when your mother and I pick you up from the station. Where we will go from there, I do not know._

_ Be strong._

_ Papa._

I stepped onto the train and sighed deeply. The train smells of sweats and musk. I walk back towards the end of the train with Draco right behind me. I take a seat and Draco steps in behind me, sliding the door shut.

"Where's Pansy?" I asked as he sits down.

"Off in an empty compartment with Blaise probably," he drops the hint.

"Ah, surprise surprise," I laugh.

"Well, if they're alone, then we're alone," he slips and arm around me. "Thinking what I'm thinking?"

He kisses me once and then again. I slowly pull away. I'd love to spend my last day with him making out but I feel guilty.

"Draco…my father sent me this," I pull the letter out of my pocket and let him read it.

"The Dark Lord then?" he asks.

Both our parents were on His side before he disappeared. My father realized, though, his mistakes and now with the rumors flying around, my father doesn't want to take sides. As far as Lucius is concerned, I don't know.

He puts an arm around my shoulder and I lean my head against him. He understands what the letter means. There's the possibility we'll never see each other again.

We spend the rest of the train ride in silence. Occasionally kissing softly. Every once and awhile, I cry a little. Even he lets a few tears out. I get off the train and we stand together for a long time. I can hear my parents calling.

I slowly slip my hand out of his. "Rae," he says softly. "I love you."

"I love you too, Draco," I say smiling sadly. The first time we said I love you and possibly the last.

"I'll wait for you," he declares. "I promise."

"And I'll wait for you," I say. I kiss him.

_Good-bye my dear._


	22. Chapter 22 final

My name is Draco Malfoy and, yes, I am writing this in the last few pages of Rebecca Garrick's diary. The very diary that started with simple memories of our early Hogwarts years and ended with our good-bye. But, like Rae herself said in the first "chapter" of her diary, I'm getting ahead of myself.

After the night in the common room together, Rae and I were inseparable and the envy of couples' throughout the school. We had the rest of our fifth year to be together, to be happy. But, Rae's father decided it was time to take the Dark Lord seriously.

Lee Garrick had previously been a deatheater in the Dark Lord's inner circle. Instead of pretending to be on His side, Mr. Garrick took his family to a remote part of Brittan and went into hiding.

I remembered the day Rae told me she and her family were leaving for what we called an "extended vacation." She kissed me one last time, got in a car, and was gone. Even then, somehow, we both knew it would probably be the last time we saw each other.

For several months I wondered what happened to her. Had her family escaped? Or there was the other devastating possibility. After worrying about her for close to six months, I over-heard the Dark Lord himself discussing the deaths, more precisely the murders, of the Garrick family.

He found out where they were hiding and, angry that Garrick had tried to get away, tracked them down, and killed them. My dear Rae was gone.

Voldemort had, gone himself, taking a few of his closest deatheaters with him. Snape was one of them. I still wonder if Snape had shown her mercy before he killed her. Even though she closely failed his class every year, she was in Snape's house.

Until the downfall of Voldemort, I mourned Rae. Afterwards, I was able to see that life is short. It makes me feel bitter to think about it. I have a family, a good life, and everything else I could want. Rae, on the other hand, will never have any of those things.

This diary has passed through many hands of the Garrick family over the last few years. When they all discovered nothing could be learned of the Garrick's last moments, they passed it onto someone else in the family, until, at last, someone passed it onto me.

I write in this diary in hope that I may feel closer to Rae. Knowing, that eighteen years ago, she touched this diary and wrote on its pages. It makes me wonder what would have happened if she hadn't gone into hiding. I wonder a lot of things about her death, but the one that always comes back to me is: did she think of me at the end?

"Good-bye, my dear," were her last words in this diary, the day we said good-bye and she left forever. And so, those will be mine as well.

Good-bye, my dear.


End file.
